Letters from jail

[Karlo Damian Vanderwood]

Day 1

I was transferred to Mexico, to the border to be exact, people here is rude, and the glares comes from everyone around me. They think im a minor raper, thing I am not. The cops brought me to my new cell. I can still remember Jasmine's last smile, kiss, her perfume. Her scent. I close my eyes for a second and I imagine myself there with her. Im scared. I dint know how long i will be here. I dont know if i will survive. My dad its dissapointed, everyone is. No one wants to hear the truth of my words.


Day 2

I dont know If I can handle this anymore. The cold shower its normal, but with all the guys around, scares the shit out of me. The mans look at me with some kind of rage and disgust. They really hate me. Though I'm innoncent, as everyone claims to be in here. Jasmine is all around my thoughts. When I wake up at 5 am. Until I fall sleep at 2 am.


Day 8

The nightmares are making me go insane. When i close my eyes, i cant help but see Jasmine being raped by someone else. Its getting in my nerves. I wake up fighting against the air. The other prisoners keep provoking me to fight them. I hold myself.

Day 20

I fought against 2 prisoners. I was getting tired of their shit. Now I'm part of this. Seems like there is a mafia inside the jail. Now I'm part of them. The youngest and the newbie. I have to defend myself. To fight. I'm learning how to survive.


First month

I killed someone, it was self defense, though the cops think it was a heart attack, I'm safe for now. Just for now. Some people in here are proud of me. Wish my father was. I miss so much her lips, her words, her eyes upon me.


Third month

I have issues with the others prisoners, I'm becoming someone different, It makes me feel special somehow, people here makes me feel powerful and bigger. I got my first tattoo. Its a Lion. Kristian, my "boss" its proud of me. He has become like a father to me, he protects me, teaches me. Perhaps in 2 months i will know everything about fights, murders, drugs and worse.


Fifth Month

The nightmares still on my dreams, I can barely sleep, 2 hours are enough now. I'm rude, and ruthless, unkind, and cruel. Everyone is starting to fear me. That makes me wonder, in what the hell i have become? Now I have 5 tattoo's. All around my body, my eyes aren't sweet anymore. Thats what they say. I dont know.


The Last month

Kristian and Karlo. The kings of the Mexican Prison. Who would tell? my fame proceeds me. Ive never touched a drug, and here i am in the top of the underworld. I told Kristian the real reason I was in there. He tells me that I should have my revenge. I agree.
He moved some influences and he get me out of the jail. Though i asked him why he wasn't outside if he could. He said he enjoys the jail. No work, no drama, just silence and good friends.


London

After everything I was I still remember Jasmine's skin on mine. No one knows I am here. And I'm glad. My father its the only one. I cant believe he can look in my eyes with out guilt. He gave me my part of my own money, and asked me to never face him again. Like if I cared. I cant help myself. It just pops in me, its my new nature, the beard, the messy hair, the toned muscles, the tattoo's. I'm back, and I need a spectacular return. Vanderwood its back.